Tuesday, May 15, 2012

What Is Love?

With spring time in the air and the birds a fluttering, the flowers blooming – the euphoria of infatuation is rampant. The senses are constantly stimulated and the heartstrings can be easily played. It's a wonderful space to be in...especially when you're in love. So I hear.

I haven't been in love in some time. And that's OK. I don't tend to fall so easily, and find that remarkably agreeable to me, especially as a gay man living in the urban jungle of New York City. The temptation is there...on every corner of our mighty metropolis, but in this post-marriage equality world that we live in, my decision appears vague and clouded. Is it true that now every time I consider handing out my phone number – I could be handing my digits over to "the one"?

Does anyone else feel that way? Is it just me? Did the game just get harder to play?

Henry kisses...they are the best!
Dating hasn't ever really been easy for me. There's always been some unforeseeable obstacles that's been in the way – some of my own designs. I've also found myself in particularly challenging predicaments when it's come to the men that I've chosen to date. They've other been unavailable, or out of the country, or in other relationships – not the most ideal situations. I've learned from them all. I think that's the most important lesson.

I've been open to learning something about myself, about them, every time. Some were mistakes I was destined to make – so that I wouldn't repeat myself – others were experiences greater and beyond measure. Love stories for the ages...and all part of my history. I'm grateful for that.

Earlier this week I posed the question on my facebook page asking if there was such a thing as unconditional love. I got several very interesting responses (not all the revealing stories I was expecting) and I may have mislead some folks into thinking that I was asking out of some sorrowful woe I had experienced. It was a question that I felt needed to be answered...after all does anyone know what is unconditional love?

I realized that unconditional love begins at home. But I didn't have the best role models to begin with. My parents were divorced when I was very young, and (yes) that colored the way I look at matrimony, at love and trust between the two people that were supposed to set the example. My parents never reconciled and although they became friends, I watched my mother (God bless her soul) go from one bad situation and into another. My father never remarried.

I've had only a few relationships. All have been very different from one another. I'm grateful for that, because they've each had their own personality. Each one redesigned my perception of what love is. Each one pushed my out of my box and extended my boundaries...some exceeded my expectations. I don't know if I've ever loved anyone so completely except for once in my life. It was the first time that I realized that love is about relenting – giving in and being in the moment. Maybe that's what it is all about.

When you are prepared to love unconditionally, that's when you know...that's when you realize that you're ready to let love in...and for better or worse, for richer or poorer, you're in it – till death do you part.

Hmmm...here's to spring time and in the immortal words of Kylie Minogue "All the Lovers".

JC Alvarez is the host and personality behind the nationally syndicated radio-show "Out Loud & Live!" on Modern World Radio (www.modernworldradio.com) and is also a pop-culture/celebrity columnist and Nightlife Editor for EDGE On The Net (www.edgeonthenet.com).

No comments:

Post a Comment