OUR ICONS: LADY GAGA

And the heavens opened up -- as if on queue -- and it rained on her stage, but Lady Gaga ran with it! The pop ingenue (yes...I said it! For all intents and purposes Gaga has only been around for 2 years) marked a milestone when she performed on day time TV to one of the largest audiences ever for a daytime talk show audience...and Lady Gaga turned it out in a way that few seasoned artists could have ever managed. But the music sensation that has been raising the bar ever since she made her debut, has earned all the attention and adoration that she's been getting since releasing The Fame.

Lady Gaga had emerged from the New York City art scene...some would say it was a dying art and not the Warholian epic that she was clearly evoking with her performance art, but none can argue that the ambitious young singer lacked talent and verve! She immediately started making a name for yourself in the downtown circuit for her punk-like style and over-the-top fashion. Making her name for yourself as a lyricist and songwriter, Lady Gaga perfected her craft and when the timing was right she immediately struck a chord with her first solo single, the club friendly "Just Dance". The pop-friendly track immediately endeared her to the club scene and especially to the hungry for a modern day anthem gay crowd. Similarly to her icon and inspiration Madonna, when the track was released there was little to be scene of Lady Gaga and with MTV no longer really toting TRL as a destination for new artist, by the time the video started making the rounds it's playability was limited to gay bars and YouTube -- which didn't seem to phase the establishing artist in the least.

As a matter of fact, it appeared that Lady Gaga's sensibility appeared tailor-made for the digital age; she immediately set out the popularize herself and has become one of the most downloadable acts of the last decade! All the while she worked to perfect her image and her performance -- as much using "shock and awe" to present herself as well as teasingly taunt with her sexuality and using the latest technologies to enhance her persona and solidify herself as a fashion plate along the lines of the artists she immolated: David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust, sprinkling in some Sylvester for good measure and a dollop of Madonna's marketing skillz, Lady Gaga backed up with the package with a whimsical ability to create pop music that was catchy and memorable. Sure she aligned herself with some of the most gifted producers in the industry for her debut album The Fame but the relationship she sought to cultivate, to nurture to the extreme was her gay audience and the "freaks" who always felt out of place in society.

Lady Gaga was speaking to them. Embracing and taking in those disenfranchised Gaga created her legion of "little monsters". Madonna may have had "wannabees" but Lady Gaga's fan base fully connected with her outrageous look and daring ability on the stage! It wasn't long before pop's own royalty from Elton John, to Sting, to Madonna herself were giving the Lady their own blessed approval, all the while creating impressive collaborations with contemporary pop artist's like Beyonce and even Michael Bolton!

Cut to: 2 years and Lady Gaga is greeted by more than 20,000 fans at Rockefeller Plaza -- the most any artist has ever gathered for the Today Show's summer concert series. Gaga in her native town, performing to 3 sold out nights at Madison Square Garden only after recently selling out Radio City, performs her heart out under a summer shower that begins after her startling emergence from a fog of dried ice. The artist cheered for her audience and didn't hold back, giving the crowd that had been waiting over night exactly what they had come to see -- Gaga full on! If she is anything she is the face of showbiz -- of any artist currently on the scene she completely "gets it" and understands the art and manipulation of the performance, and embraces her audience at the same time she thumbs up her nose in rebellion to the fame she herself has created for herself. She is this generation's Madonna -- no other modern day act can lay claim to that similarity -- not Britney, not Beyonce, not Christina!

But at the same time that Lady Gaga climbs on the backs of all those that have paved the way for her own success, she clearly stops to slap the hands and give them their props understanding that without them she would never have realized and perfected her own brand of performance -- she would never have known what fierce determination would have in store for her, especially just at the start of her career. For Gaga the next bench mark is anxiously being awaited, but she will continue to advocate for those that made her what she is and celebrated her ability to be a "free bitch".

THE ART OF THE COURTSHIP

In a more civilized time in human history (although I like to think not all that long ago) people actually spent the time and energy to get to know one another. Early relationships actually valued the idea of establishing friendships -- or a comparable intimate experience that would establish longevity and a more secure level of companionship between lovers. I know that it all sounds very clinical but somewhere down the line -- and I like to blame the 70's (I blame that era for a lot of things) perhaps it was the sexual liberation of the time and the pursuit of independent identity -- maybe there was a singular "cool factor" -- whatever it was, people weren't bothering to court an intended suitor. And it's a sad shame.

The funny thing about it is -- I'm not in the lease a hopeless romantic. I love and encourage romance and the experience that it inspires, but I learned about love by watching tv and movies so my idea of romance is a bit on tilt. Go figure. That doesn't mean that the idea of romance is dead on me. I've got my days...but what I sometimes think is really tragic is that often times gay men really don't partake in this ritual. For instance, I recently had dinner with two really old friends who had recently married -- they'd been friends all through high school and even grew up in the same home town. Interestingly enough, although there was an attraction between them they really didn't pursue anything while growing up as young people and only decided to pursue something romantic when the timing felt right -- which happened years later when they were both in college. The courtship which started years before, led to an easy romance years later -- but it was the sense of familiarity that eased and inspired the affection and love between them.

There's something to be said about those moments of stolen kisses and casual embraces, and in an even more chaste time of chaperones and parental permission. Now don't get me wrong, I'm extremely realistic about the fact that I'm well beyond any of that being a necessity in my life. I'm well beyond the years of needing (or wanting) to be chaperoned, and although stolen kisses are something that is very sweet -- I'm particularly aggressive and usually just take what I want -- Yikes! That sounds dangerously horrible, but I'm not a passive individual when it comes to getting what I want -- I just wish that we lived in an era where it was well worth the wait to want. Sometimes it just seems that would be enticing opportunity to increase the expectations between two new lovers.

I'm just thinking about the rest of you! I've not been in love for a very long time and I don't seek attention like that -- I'm not in pursuit of love and trust that it's something that occurs between people when the timing is right and when it's a special opportunity -- otherwise it's just a "trick". And tricks are for kids! And I mean that!

In an age where we tend to jump in the moment and the immediacy of a relationship whenever when crosses our paths and then quickly work our way through it looking beyond to where the grass is greener, perhaps as we continue to pursue marriage equality we can begin to think about relationships and the excitement of their longevity with fresh eyes. Also, I must admit that not all gay relationships go the way of drink-to dance-to bedroom-to brunch-to see you around the block sometime. There are a lot of like-minded individuals out there that would like nothing more than to settle in with someone special and more-so-than-often there are genuine relationship oriented people out there not out just looking for a fling -- not that there's anything wring with that! Sometimes a fling is just what one needs at least to get you through the haze.

It's just especially nice when the quality time that we choose to spend with someone can be just that -- quality! It's actually quite brilliant to sit in the breathe of knowing that it won't end as quickly as it's started, and sometimes it's even more special when you relent to any expectations whatsoever. The sands of time are not running out, and you've got all the time in the world. Really -- you do. It makes it worth the trouble to try to steal a kiss. It makes it all that much more sweeter.

OUR CINEMATIC LIFE

Something happens to me whenever I sit in a darkened movie theatre and relent myself to the experience that is the cinema! If that isn't a dramatic opening line, I don't know what is, but it's the truth. Something happens to me. It always did.

I developed my passion for the cinema from my parents; both of them loved taking me and my brother to the movies, although I think I appreciated it in a way that was unique onto myself. I inherited that passion for movies from my father. It wasn't as if he had to explain it to me or anything like that -- he didn't sit me down and tell me what makes for a great movie, plot, placement, characters or shots -- he just let me play a lot. Which I did as a kid. I would create these elaborate little sets with my action figures when I was younger and plot out the most innovative sequences. Sometimes I was the director, other times the cameraman -- but always the film was a blockbuster. I never imagined things small -- I always allowed myself to dream big, which begs to differ why I seem to settle for so little sometimes in my own life.

Movies and the spectacle of a film make so many things probable in life -- you believe that a man can fly that you can go back to the future, that you should be afraid of the water and that an alien can phone home. Anything is possible within that frame of and span of 2 hours. You can save the world and you can especially fall in love! I was once told that I fall in love like in the movies. At the time that idea didn't seem like such a bad thing -- movie love is often larger than life, dramatic, wrought with passion, can be dangerous but always ends happily. What is so bad about that?

Obviously it's the fact that it's unrealistic -- people don't love like that...people don't live that! As if every moment is their last and each decision of every moment of the day can have a resonance, an impact that will last forever. If only people lived like that! I think we'd accomplish a whole lot more within the 24 hours that we're given in a day...we'd take more of our lives by the balls as opposed to let so many other things stand in our way and cause all these distractions. But life should be cinematic.

With everyone so willing to play things up nowadays for the reality tv cameras, some people's lives are almost intentionally dramatic...but not in a Casablanca kind of way and not even like a poorly developed flick of the week. It makes you sometimes wonder why we've become such a celebrity starved culture -- is it because we pay such a paltry amount of attention to our own lives in the effort to submerge ourselves int he fantasy of something that could or should be unattainable? After all celebrity is fleeting and doesn't always last forever, and for those fortunate enough to achieve fame and fortune it seems to come with it's own share of challenges or regret. Only a fortunate few are able to travel that causeway unscathed.

As I continue along the "pre-production" of my Hollywood spectacle (the budget keeps shifting, the script keeps changing -- although it's nearly locked, the studio I'm currently working with is suffering slightly financially, but I'm contractually locked it) I take heart in the fact that soon my flick will have it's premiere. Perhaps it'll be a modest film opening, not necessarily #1 opening weekend, but with good word-of-mouth it begins to gain some momentum, the critics will mostly be kind, but all agree that it's "a promising debut" which is always encouraging. It'll be a good start!

If we took more active roles as the stars of our lives, wouldn't we be living more Academy Award winning features or money-making Hollywood blockbusters?

THE DAY AFTER...

It's a beautiful Monday morning here in NYC. The dust has settled from all the Pride hijinks and things are for all intents and purposes back to "gay normal". As I get older, that seems more and more -- normal. People often say that holidays are for children, like Christmas and Halloween are kids holidays and that you don't really live them until you see them through the eyes of a child. This may also be the case when it comes to Pride. I don't really have a gaggle of friends here in the city to hang out with and most of the people that I generally do spend time with go out of town during this holiday weekend, so the parade happens, the parties go on, the revelers drink and dance and me: I'm usually avoiding the whole thing. Not because I abhor that sort of behavior but it's something that you wanna do with a group of friends -- like New Year's.

I walked my dog Henry last night and listened to the fireworks that signal the end of the big dance on the pier. I couldn't see them but they sounded very impressive and they usually are -- they bring everyone to a stand still and it's actually quite emotional to look up at the sky and see such a display -- like the world is cheering. From my vantage point I looked at the Empire State Building bathed in lavender -- it's lit that way every year for pride -- it would be too ambitious to light it in the traditional rainbow colors I think, but I always wonder what that will look like. I listened to the fireworks dying out; Henry on his leash (Henry is terrified of fireworks) and it made me think of how much still there is left to do in order to really celebrate Gay Pride.

As gay and men and women we really don't have any other option -- we have to have pride in ourselves and we must live our lives accordingly; we have no other alternative. To some it's OK to settle on what is -- to others the plight continues for more. Because whether we realize it or not our social standing isn't on te same footing as the "regular folk". And sometimes that does make me think how sad that is -- especially here in America.

But listen -- I don't want to be a constant dark cloud on the horizon; these musings of mine aren't meant to be dismal -- I hope that they are inspiring and reflect the way I see things, the way I am experiencing things and that those experiences connect with someone else. And today the day after Gay Pride, when life in NYC is returning to normal and the party has stopped, I want all of you to know that the band is playing on.

Don't have pride one day of the year -- or one week for that matter -- have it everyday! And share it with you family, include them in your life. Make them a part of the experience and especially smile! They will thank you for it!

OUR ICONS: KYLIE MINOGUE

I'm feeling a little nostalgic -- today I was reminded of the teenager I was circa 1987 -- and the reason for that is because as I spent the entirety of my workout rocking to Kylie Minogue's new album Aphrodite I couldn't help but reflect on her career and what has endeared her to the gay community and made her one of our more priceless icons. Perhaps you'll ask yourself why I didn't start with the principal pop icon Madonna, but as I mentioned...I was feeling nostalgic, and if all things iconic and gay will trace back to Madonna -- well then:

Circa 1987 Madonna was truly coming into her own as a pop artist. She would release her third studio album True Blue which debut the hit single "Papa Don't Preach" and controversy would ensue as religious groups abhor what they conceive is Madonna's attempt to entice America's youth to engage in pre-marrital sex that would lead to pregnancy, blah blah blah. On the radio Janet Jackson was getting "Control" and Stacey Q was giving us "Two of Hearts", but on the onset was this import act with a remake of the Carole King pop classic sung by Little Eva "Loco-Motion". That import was the spry and very young Kylie Minogue and that first single was a huge summer time hit for her and she had a few modest follow-ups, but America didn't seem ready for the Minogue...at least not until we couldn't get her out of our head -- years later!

I remember listening to that track -- the first one "Loco-Motion" and not being particularly impressed by it, but I would still grove to it and I will admit I wasn't the most groovy teenager -- I was very skinny and awkward and not very coordinated, so I didn't really dance all that often. Not in public anyway, but in my imagination I sold out arenas!

Kylie Minogue was one of those artists that I constantly kept my pulse on. Musically she was pushing the envelope of pop/dance and even if Americans weren't getting it, the gay underground club scene was all over it! Minogue had several modest hits "Confide In Me" and "Better the Devil You Know" that immediately endeared themselves to the gay scene, all the while her star was climbing to the stratosphere in Europe and the UK in measure that matched Madonna's own celebrity internationally! And when Kylie took her music on the road the comparisons between the two divas was always evident -- it was clear that they both were drawing inspiration from fashion and art. Madonna of course usually had more of the finances to fully realize her vision, while Minogue experimented with what she could technologically -- cut to: 2000 when she released Light Years which yielded the hit single "Spinning Around" and it's ultra-stylish music video. On the heals of that success Minogue's success would touch American soil again with the 2002 release of Fever and everybody was feeling it -- the album featured her biggest international hit "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" and it wasn't long before Kylie was once again commercially embraced by her North American audience.

But I digress: anyone can go on-line and read through Minogue's biography or check out her discography anyone can see her live concert performances on video and the spectacle that she performs -- all the while singing her heart out live!

What makes her an icon is the love that Kylie has always spread universally to her fans -- which is almost apropos that her latest release is entitled Aphrodite -- after the mythic Goddess of Love. Because truly in the pantheon of female gay icons where Madonna would without a doubt sit among them in the apparent role of Hera, Queen of the Gods for her indomitable strength, Minogue would be the inherit Aphrodite spreading joy and love where ever she goes. Kylie has also been one of the more apparent artists who has always championed equal rights and fought for those disenfranchised few that have made her such a sensation: she's never abandoned her gay fans and has always been at the front of line fighting to raise funds for those living with HIV/AIDS. She's never shirked in her responsibility to the community, and she never asked for anything in return accept our endearing admiration.

But MInogue is not without her own fierce sense of strength: she fought and won a battle with cancer which was discovered while she was on one of her tours -- it forced her to cancel the last 3 shows, which she quickly rescheduled as soon as she recovered from her treatment putting her in front of the people she loves most and doing exactly what she was born to do...entertain! And now as she prepares for world domination (yet again) Kylie appeals to those fans that have always made her a standout artist and delivers with great love and happiness some of the best music of her career. And it's that quality that has made her an icon!

After you hear Aphrodite tell me that you don't agree. This goddess of love's time has come to be embraced by everyone -- but it's true when they say that gays are the cultural taste-makers in any society. So I don't have to convince you -- Kylie knows we love her!

TGIF!

I'm in the midst of getting the weekend started -- which for me is catching up on my TV viewing, popping in a DVD and forcing my pooch Henry to cuddle up with me on my plush couch which has admittedly become dented in on one corner. It's very obvious where we spend most of our viewing time. The highlight of my Friday night is ordering the Grilled Shrimp special from the local Thai restaurant, which admittedly because of the oil spill disaster in the Gulf I've become nervous about eating, but I'm I going to stop eating sea food all together because of this ecological nightmare? I think not! I've very little else to root for on Friday nights.

Now I'm not bringing this up in any way to imply I require any sympathy in the matter. I am after all a creature of habit and I really do love spending time at home...with myself...all the time. I'm a very social individual but I've curiously entered that age where few of my friends and I spend our times patrolling the club scene, and even though I've reported on it and have several friends impacting that most significant part of our culture -- it's not where I spend a lot of time. Although sometimes you can't help but want to shake your ass...if you know what I mean. It's Gay Pride and summer in the city and on the onset of the biggest gay weekend of the year you would imagine that there's got to be a party somewhere to be had that I would be at attendance -- but alas no velvet rope will be sheathed at my arrival.

And that's OK. Sometimes it feels like Gay Pride is something for everyone else, or the privileged few prepared to venture out into the mobs of unsuspecting tourists expecting New Yorkers to have to deliver on the promises of a "spectacular time" when in truth, except for the mobs of people wall to wall at every local haunt it's as spectacular event as it is every single night of the week in our great metropolis, and that's not to say that Gay Pride isn't amazing in every city across the nation -- it's just that in a city like New York it's just a reason to rainbow flag the crap out of everything every where! That's about it! Fortunately some of us can afford to live proudly everyday...and we do! I know I do!

Maybe tonight I'll prepare myself and venture out for a spell. Grab a drink and get a tickle with some of the locals I usually end up running into. And if I see you say "hello" it'd be nice to share a smile.

So I'd like to welcome every one who's coming into Manhattan to share in the festivities -- I'd like to welcome them to Gay Pride NYC style! And remind them that this is just their one day, but I have to live here year round -- clean up after yourself, don't leave a miss and if you have no intentions of staying in touch, don't give out your card with your digits, your e-mail, but please do facebook -- or at least poke that special someone just as a courtesy.

It's Gay Pride after all and no one is expecting anything -- really! We'll always have New York City...or Chicago...or Miami...or San Francisco...or Los Angeles -- you get the picture!

SHOW YOUR PRIDE!

Every summer across the nation Gay Pride is celebrated in every major city. Hundreds of revelers take to the streets for some of the largest parades and events in the country -- and in the Midwest hundreds of gay and lesbian youth quietly fight the fight for social acceptance and tolerance among a much more difficult level of adversity. I some times think that we celebrate Gay Pride for them. In New York City, the city I'm from the parade is one of the biggest tourist draws and grows every year. The most poignant moment is the moment of silence -- in memory of those individuals who started the movement with the Stonewall Riots and to honor those that have been lost to the AIDS Crisis. The former of course being one of the most pivotal moments in not just Gay History but American History, and to some it marks the beginning of the Gay Civil Rights movement. A movement that we're all still in the midst of -- and a fight that we're fighting for those frightened gay and lesbian youth in parts of the country who can't celebrate with pride!

We have become a culture that takes things for granted especially in the larger metropolitan cities, but this year I suggest that we take a couple more than just a couple of minutes to think about where we are as a community -- and how much more we need. Don't kid yourself -- in America (if you're not paying attention) you will be considered a second class citizen, unless you take the steps and measures to change this. You are responsible for your rights and currently those rights are in the hands of government -- which consists of officials we elect to safe guard our and defend our liberties as guaranteed by the Constitution. This year as we approach yet another election season take the steps that are necessary to make your voice heard and make your vote count -- otherwise what is there to celebrate?

I'm an American -- born in New York City or Cuban immigrants who know a thing or two about social injustice. I'm also gay -- but I am not a 2nd Class anything. Just ask anyone that knows me. I'm sure you're not either.

Take pride in yourself and to new levels.

Peace.